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Writer's pictureCherrice Smith

Thanksgiving Without the Stress: Choosing Peace


Black family in good spirits sitting at table for Thanksgiving with a male holding the turkey.

Thanksgiving is often a time to gather with family, share gratitude, and create memories. But let’s be real—it’s not always that simple. For many, the idea of spending the holiday with family comes with a side of tension, especially in today’s polarized social and political climate. With the recent elections fresh in everyone’s minds, conversations at the dinner table can easily shift into arguments about politics, social issues, or personal beliefs.


If you’ve been feeling anxious about Thanksgiving—whether because of political discord, unresolved family issues, or simply the energy certain people bring—you’re not alone. And here’s the truth: you don’t have to go.


Thanksgiving is about gratitude and connection, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to spend it in spaces that feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or draining. Let’s explore how you can navigate this holiday season with peace, intention, and boundaries.


 

The Choice to Stay Home

Skipping the traditional family gathering might feel radical, but it’s one of the most empowering decisions you can make if it aligns with your well-being. If the thought of spending hours in a tense environment leaves you feeling stressed, it’s worth asking yourself: Do I really need to be there?


Reasons You Might Skip:

  • Anticipating heated political debates or divisive conversations.

  • Wanting to avoid individuals who bring toxic or negative energy.

  • Protecting your peace and prioritizing mental health.


Alternatives to Consider:

  • Host Your Own Celebration: Invite friends or family members who share your values and uplift your spirit.

  • Spend the Day Solo: Enjoy your favorite foods, reflect on gratitude, and treat yourself to rest and relaxation.

  • Celebrate with Friends: A “Friendsgiving” can be a warm, joyful alternative to traditional family gatherings.


Skipping a family event doesn’t make you ungrateful or disrespectful. It means you’re choosing to celebrate in a way that feels meaningful and safe for you.


 

Navigating Political Tensions

The political landscape can feel like a minefield during family gatherings. With the recent election still fresh, emotions are likely running high, and everyone has an opinion. If you’re worried about political debates dominating the conversation, here’s how to manage them:


1. Set Boundaries Beforehand: Let your family know in advance that you’d prefer to avoid political discussions. For example:

  • “I’d love to focus on enjoying each other’s company this year. Let’s keep politics off the table.”

2. Redirect the Conversation: If things start to get heated, gently steer the discussion in another direction.

  • “I’d love to hear about your latest project instead!”

  • “What’s your favorite Thanksgiving memory?”

3. Step Away When Needed: You don’t have to stay engaged in conversations that feel uncomfortable or triggering. Excuse yourself to take a break, get some fresh air, or focus on something else.


 

What If You Decide to Go?

If you choose to attend Thanksgiving with family, it’s important to prepare yourself emotionally and set boundaries to protect your peace.


Tips for Navigating Family Dynamics:

  1. Know Your Limits: Be clear about how long you’ll stay or what topics you’re willing to discuss.

  2. Focus on the Positive: Spend time with family members who bring joy and connection, and steer clear of those who don’t.

  3. Have an Exit Plan: If things become too much, give yourself permission to leave early.


You can show up with love and gratitude while still prioritizing your mental health.


 

Reimagining Thanksgiving

At its core, Thanksgiving is about gratitude, not obligation. If attending a family gathering feels like more stress than it’s worth, you have the power to reimagine what the holiday looks like for you.


Here are a few ways to create a meaningful Thanksgiving experience:

  • Celebrate Gratitude Solo: Spend the day journaling, cooking your favorite meal, or enjoying a quiet moment of reflection.

  • Create New Traditions: Try something different this year, like volunteering, hosting a potluck, or having a movie night.

  • Honor Your Boundaries: Whether you go, host, or skip the holiday altogether, make sure your choices reflect your needs and values.


 

Gratitude Without the Drama

This Thanksgiving, give yourself permission to choose peace. Whether that means attending the family gathering with boundaries in place, skipping it entirely, or creating a celebration that reflects your values, remember: you’re not obligated to endure discomfort or toxicity for tradition’s sake.


Gratitude isn’t about compromising your mental health—it’s about finding joy, connection, and peace in whatever way feels right for you.


 

Your Turn: What are your plans for Thanksgiving this year? Are you attending family gatherings, hosting your own celebration, or skipping it altogether? Let’s talk in the comments about how you’re choosing peace and gratitude this season.

 

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